A post by Cari

[Lena]

Hi Nicky, Mary and who ever can read this.

I came across this post by Cari, viewtopic.php?f=8&t=90&start=10
Which is for Eva, I felt it was a little 'sticky' with some addictions. Cari responding to Eva's hurtful feelings of being alone, which she needs to feel, instead of coming back to the forum to engage in order to avoid being alone. This is what I felt Cari was suggesting to Eva to do and generally feels like she was responding to this feeling...

Or I am just overreacting

I hope this is the way to discuss things, Nicky let me know if this isn't the best format to do so.

Thanks everyone,
Lena

[Mary]

Hi Lena & Nicky,

I haven't had any time to look at forum posts over the past week but looking this morning I feel that there are a few issues to raise. Nicky I'll try to make a sound recording for you today, hopefully with more detail but here are a few things I think to flag:

1. I agree something is going on with Cari. I haven't had a chance to read her (many) posts yet but there is some kind of addiction going on. HOWEVER she is new and I can feel that partly she is just uber enthusiastic and so I think it is important to be kind and help her to start to grow some awareness of her issues. As I said, I haven't had a chance to actually read much of her posts yet. I will try to do that today and hopefully get a better feeling about what is going on for her.

2. There is this thread http://forum.divinetruthhub.com/viewtop ... t=approval
in which three women are saying that they have the same injury when in fact I feel three different injuries in each of them. I will try to post a direct response to them. Its not really a moderator issue as they aren't breaching any guidelines etc but i thought you guys might be interested to have a 'feel'

3. I think we need to issue new people who display an arrogant attitude at least one warning before they receive a direct RED STRIKE. This gives them opportunity to change or to be assisted before they are completely removed from participation.

I noticed this in the case of Darragh. Nicky I don't disagree with your assessment of his emotions and I understand that by the time you maybe had the chance to catch up with reading everything, he may have written three or four arrogant posts but I feel it is loving to give even arrogant people (who haven't been directly abusive) a chance to see their injury and change before striking them out of participating.

It may be that they become abusive or snarky immediately after you issue the first strike but then you have a clear course to RED STRIKE them immediately, BUT it may be that people become more sincere and this forum a great place for people to experiment with change and receiving feedback if they are more sincere.

There is a broader issue here about facade and inadvertently 'rewarding' people who present a facade of kindness but are actually quite arrogant and penalizing people who are more overt in their injuries when sometimes their lack of facade means that they are ready to change more rapidly.

I hope that makes sense. I'll elaborate more in my voice recording.

As I said I am only just having a look around this morning so I may find other things that we can discuss. I'll post or voice record anything else I notice.

Have a great day guys!

Love
Mary

[Nicky]

Hi Guys

Yep, I completely agree about Cari. I gave her some feedback yesterday about what I felt were a few things for her to maybe have a look at. Here is the thread where I gave the feedback:

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=588

Ok awesome, I'll take a read of that thread, I haven't actually properly read the thread yet (I only quickly jumped into the thread to move it to another part of the forum) so it'll be cool if I can make sense of what's really going on there with the three women.

And yes Mary, I do feel that I understand what you are saying about the arrogant warning before a red strike. Maybe an amber strike initially rather than a straight up red strike? What you are saying does make sense and it is definitely the most loving option (compared with just issuing a red strike before any such warning). Yea, Darragh made a splurge of comments in a short space of time and I wrote up the strike after logging in to read all his comments.

Darragh did send me, almost instantaneously, a private email response where his arrogance did get more intense and was dismissive of the feedback I gave him. But regardless, I see what you are saying and going forwards I feel this is definitely the best way.

Awesome Mary, thanks a lot for your feedback and I look forward to hearing your audio file if you do decide to create one and have the time to do so!

Thanks too Lena for starting the thread, this is what I was hoping this part of the forum would be used for.

Love to you

Nicky

[Mary]

Hey Nicky,

I agree, Darragh was probably always going to become more arrogant and dismissive of you. One of the benefits of doing all of that publicly is that others can learn and have an example of what it is like to 'stand up' to bad behaviour in a loving way (the first strike) and then to see how people's true intentions and soul condition becomes more exposed. Then you red strike them and it has all been done publicly. People have a great example.

I know at times you reference people's private emails to you and how they have treated you in private correspondence when you give strikes. I would be tempted to add to your forum guidelines the possibility that the content of private correspondence with you may be made public. What do you think? That way you can show examples of how people treat you in relation to the forum and how that goes towards your strike?

Did you make the feedback comments to Cari in a public thread? Just cause I'll take a look if you did.

Also, what do you think about posts on global issues? I very much would like to start a discussion regarding the recent events in Paris and Beirut. It kind of links to the material that I was wanting to share in response to Alla's question about refugees that I haven't had time to write yet. To be honest I find that most people still have a very 'self' focused view of Divine Truth and their personal progression e.g. they want to progress so that they can be happier in their personal circumstances rather than considering the impact of their emotions on a global scale or having true compassion for the plight of others. (Full disclosure: this is a bit of a 'bug bear' of my own, I have felt pretty harsh towards westerners in the past because of this very injury).

So I was wondering if there was a place you thought it would be most appropriate to talk about broader issues effecting the world? I thought of doing it in one of the threads about the laws but in fact ALL of the laws are at play in the discussion of these topics as well as personal soul qualities like humility and compassion.

If you or Lena have any suggestions I'd love to know.

P.S. Are there any other new moderators other than Lena now and will you be introducing the new moderators to the forum publicly? I thought that that would be good since their role and interactions with others are going to be changing.

[Nicky]

Hey Mary

Ah yes, that does make sense (the public stuff you've suggested) as I guess it will almost show the very reason why I gave them a strike initially and their response to the strike almost illustrates this further.

That's a good idea, I will add to the terms of use a line that states that I may use any private emails on the forum to help illustrate any strikes further for the benefit of others to observe. Once I have added this, I'll issue an announcement on the forum to make people aware.

Yes I did give Cari feedback in a public thread. I added a link to it in my previous reply earlier in this thread if you can see it?

Hmmm, I could create a new category in the forum to talk about "World Issues" or "Environment" or something? That way people can discuss all sorts of current affair stuff in there as well as environmental things?

I've spoken to Perry about making him a moderator and he's said yes but I can feel he isn't too sure yet. I think it's more down to the reason that he doesn't really have much free time at the moment so that's why I am hanging on with that one for a bit.

I was also going to drop Tristan an email and asking him but I haven't got round to that yet. Yes, what I can do is once I have added all the moderators, I will just create another announcement informing everyone who they are etc.

Hope that makes sense!

[Lena]

Thanks Nicky and Mary,
I will check it all out more closely too.

The bit with Cari (from Eva's intro)
that jumped at me was more than anything else, where she kind of suggests to Eva to use forum to get away from her loneliness. But now that I have re-read the last two paragraphs of her post again, and I don't really know why I felt that she was suggesting that.
So I will wait to hear from you guys about it all.

Lena

[Mary]

That all sounds great Nicky.

I'm very sorry you did say about the feedback to Cari earlier. I overlooked it. (multi tasking a bit too much here this morning) I'll check out what you shared.

Cheers,
Mary

[Nicky]

Hey Mary - no worries at all, any time you are on the forum sharing I am happy and grateful so there's no need to apologise. I know how busy you guys are (Mary, Jesus & also Lena) so it's cool!

Slightly off topic here..... Me, Perry and his flatmate came to an arrangement the day after our skype chat last week and I'm gonna be moving in with them this weekend which is awesome! Of course it's a "temporary" thing until we are both in a space where our guides and God can guide us to a more desirable location (wherever that may be!) but I'm excited that we are living together so soon, it can only help any future work.

I've also set up an automated daily forum back up script that takes a snapshot of the forum once a day at 2am my time and saves to:

1) the server (online)
2) to my laptop (so I can move to hard disk)

So at least now the forum data is secure on a day to day basis. I'll be researching the proper technical computer stuff Jesus mentioned to me in the next week or so and get back to you guys in an email as I basically had no idea what he was saying to me...it was like another language so I definitely have a lot of research to do!

[Mary]

hehe... I know what you mean about the 'other language' feeling.

Jesus always tells me that I am the one good with languages not him (I don't agree but I do speak some limited Spanish and Arabic which I really enjoy) I I always tell him straight back that he is fluent in computer programming language!! which I am completely clueless about.

It is so great to hear that you have at least a temporary arrangement to stay with Perry!

I understand about his hesitancy to be forum moderator as he sounds so busy. He wrote to us briefly about his talk. It sounded great...

actually Nicky, I just realised I should just record you a sound file!

I'll do that so that I don't spend all this time typing!

Talk soon,
Mary

[Lena]

Hi guys, haha by the time I click post, there is already so much more that happened and to learn from the further exchange you did.

Anyways, this is what I felt about the 3 women:

Mia: well ...is a lot like me, if I read it all correctly. Suffering from the super neediness for approval as she very well described. She doesn't feel she has any identity and fully depends on others to give it to her, and to give her some purpose.

Laura: feels a bit rebellious and not wanting to take responsibility, but also arrogant in her presence, using it all to cover something else under it all....
Also there is more blame from Laura towards her mom, which I am not sure if it's all deserving. Feels to me Laura had a lot less oppressive mother than Mia did and therefore can not have the same amount fear and need. The overall feeling I get from Laura is more narcissistic than from Mia. While I know how our own fears and addictions are very self absorbed too. I couldn't (or didn't have the same desire) connect to what Laura was saying as much as I could to what Mia was saying.

Monique: feels completely different again, like a step up from Laura and almost opposite to Mia.
Well I know Monique well enough personally, and we did record Mary and Jesus give her a very detailed feedback session yesterday too. So I feel I am cheating here as it is now easy for me to see her true intentions. So a lot of facade and arrogance, control and not much vulnerability at all. In fact i feel like Monique would normally like to 'pray' on people like Mia. So again I couldn't (or didn't have the same desire) to really connect to what Monique was writing about.

Ok this is it from me, am I completely off course on this, well, we'll see!

thanks guys!!!