Hello,
My name is Moti and I live in New Mexico and stumbled onto Divine Truth through a clip of a show on Jesus and Mary...and though it was meant to deter people from exploring their teachings, it made me curious and, as soon as I began to listen, I was so relieved to hear what they were saying about everything from emotions, to soulmates, to God's Laws, and,truth...and well, just everything!
That was about four years ago, and when they came with Cornelius to the states in 2014 I was lucky enough to attend the assistance group and meet them and others on the path in person and that was life changing.
I am now working to integrate many of the things that I was shown about injuries from my childhood that still prevent me from trusting God and receiving divine love. But, I am on the way. I think that damage from my early life really harmed my relationship with God...but these great teachings are showing me how I might know God even given the life I was born into....and come to experience God's love.
Thanks Nikky for creating a loving Divine Truth Space...I love getting to know and learn about the experiences of other people who are exploring this great work and I know that safety and kindness are key to growing together in love toward God.
Nice to be here!
Moti
hello from new mexico, usa
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maureen
- Community Member
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- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:37 am
- Location: New Mexico, USA
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Re: hello from new mexico, usa
oops...that was 2013...when that assistance group took place...xxoo moti
Re: hello from new mexico, usa
Hi Moti
I would like to welcome you to the forums here.
I would also like to thank you for your work on the Divine Truth Clips project. I have personally benefitted a great deal from the work you have done.
Great to meet you.
Nicky
I would like to welcome you to the forums here.
I would also like to thank you for your work on the Divine Truth Clips project. I have personally benefitted a great deal from the work you have done.
Great to meet you.
Nicky
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maureen
- Community Member
- Posts: 121
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:37 am
- Location: New Mexico, USA
- Contact:
hello from new mexico, usa (and my name change)
Just a note on changing my name...from Moti (Motavenda Melchizedek) back to my birthname (Maureen Costello):
I sent in my paperwork for my name change yesterday. It takes a few weeks before it's official. It's been really scary because of all the energy around the whole thing. But, Jesus had pointed me toward this issue a bit in Texas (here's a clip if you're interested Jesus on How to Fully Heal Our Childhood Injuries) where he mentions the issue of changing our names and how it can be related to wanting to disavow and wall ourselves off from our past and our pain.
For sure, for me, I think this is true now. I don't know how exactly how it has affected my life (the decision to change my name in the first place back then) but I want to know. And this seems like a step in the right direction.
It was about 30 years ago, when I was doing some healing work around my sexual abuse from childhood when I came across a metaphysical teacher's work and I felt strongly after a series of very intense experiences over a number of months (which were highly likely spirit influenced I suspect now) that he was my soulmate and I had the "other half" of his work.
Nothing ever came of that work wise or relationship wise on earth (though he has soared as a metaphysical teacher in the ensuing years). I spent three decades pretty much single because I believed he was my soulmate even though we were never together in the physical world.
Still, during all that time, we had a deep and ongoing interaction in the spirit world and I always felt like his wife in all our interactions in the sleep state which I became aware through divine truth was really adultery. He is married to a woman he got together with shorty after our paths crossed. And, because he says she is not his soulmate, I "justified" our spirit world trysts believing I had the right to that “even if” I was deprived of a life with him on earth. As I learned more truth about these things, that changed.
For thirty years, there in the spirit world, we were lovers. I was his confidant, his consort, and a resource where he would replenish his energy and gather strength to "continue teaching" on earth. We always met in secret. He would work through things with me that he was struggling with. He would often talk about how complicated his earth life had become now and why (even though he "wanted to") he could not yet leave that family for me and how he was trying to extract himself from that life, etc.
After hearing the truth about the sleep state and becoming aware that what I was doing was really unloving to myself and the woman he is married to and wrong on many level to be engaging and indulging in with him, I stopped those interactions this past year (as far as I am aware). I broke things off with him in the sleep state about 6 months ago (and remembered our exchange when I woke up).
I used to wake up 2-3 mornings a week having been with him for hours in the sleep state...feeling married. Now, I have no new memories of these dream encounters...so I feel like I have "broken off" our "affair", but I know I have a lot of emotions to work through around things like what allowed me to go so far with something if it was never true. And, I have a lot to repent about that I don't see the depth of yet and a lot more work ahead of me to really clean up what I did there.
Anyway, I'm not sure what is true or not about much of all of this still. And I want to come to face everything. I do know that I have been in a lot of arrogance and self deception about my soul condition and thinking/believing I have done more healing than I have (and that "taking on" the name “Motavenda Melchizedek" highly likely fueled and allowed that to grow over the years). And this had led me to be quite off and unloving with people which I did not really get until recently when Jesus and Mary shed light on this whole area of arrogance and confusion for me.
I think changing my name back to my birthname will help me to come to know and face the real truth about my soul condition, my childhood (and what remains unaddressed there) and will also help me to connect to the little girl I once was who I think got a bit swallowed up by all that metaphysical stuff and is standing back there in that moment 30 years ago still when I severed myself from that past and I left her behind in these pursuits.
Plus, it will be much healthier for me open space up for my true soulmate and to heal my sexuality in this world and have the chance be with a person who is on earth and available (wo, lots to face and feel about there!).
I have immense terror and shame that I am feeling and passing through now...accompanied by a massive spirit attack...and lots of vulnerability and hopelessness and despair....but there is a small sense of a new birth taking place in a way too.
Thanks to Jesus and Mary and to everyone growing in love on this path for being a part of the creation of a place..a space on earth...where I (and everyone) can heal and become a better, more honest and loving soul.
I want to find my way back to God. And I think this is step that will set my compass back on course so I'm a little more confident that I'm heading in the right direction.
Love,
Maureen (Moti)
I sent in my paperwork for my name change yesterday. It takes a few weeks before it's official. It's been really scary because of all the energy around the whole thing. But, Jesus had pointed me toward this issue a bit in Texas (here's a clip if you're interested Jesus on How to Fully Heal Our Childhood Injuries) where he mentions the issue of changing our names and how it can be related to wanting to disavow and wall ourselves off from our past and our pain.
For sure, for me, I think this is true now. I don't know how exactly how it has affected my life (the decision to change my name in the first place back then) but I want to know. And this seems like a step in the right direction.
It was about 30 years ago, when I was doing some healing work around my sexual abuse from childhood when I came across a metaphysical teacher's work and I felt strongly after a series of very intense experiences over a number of months (which were highly likely spirit influenced I suspect now) that he was my soulmate and I had the "other half" of his work.
Nothing ever came of that work wise or relationship wise on earth (though he has soared as a metaphysical teacher in the ensuing years). I spent three decades pretty much single because I believed he was my soulmate even though we were never together in the physical world.
Still, during all that time, we had a deep and ongoing interaction in the spirit world and I always felt like his wife in all our interactions in the sleep state which I became aware through divine truth was really adultery. He is married to a woman he got together with shorty after our paths crossed. And, because he says she is not his soulmate, I "justified" our spirit world trysts believing I had the right to that “even if” I was deprived of a life with him on earth. As I learned more truth about these things, that changed.
For thirty years, there in the spirit world, we were lovers. I was his confidant, his consort, and a resource where he would replenish his energy and gather strength to "continue teaching" on earth. We always met in secret. He would work through things with me that he was struggling with. He would often talk about how complicated his earth life had become now and why (even though he "wanted to") he could not yet leave that family for me and how he was trying to extract himself from that life, etc.
After hearing the truth about the sleep state and becoming aware that what I was doing was really unloving to myself and the woman he is married to and wrong on many level to be engaging and indulging in with him, I stopped those interactions this past year (as far as I am aware). I broke things off with him in the sleep state about 6 months ago (and remembered our exchange when I woke up).
I used to wake up 2-3 mornings a week having been with him for hours in the sleep state...feeling married. Now, I have no new memories of these dream encounters...so I feel like I have "broken off" our "affair", but I know I have a lot of emotions to work through around things like what allowed me to go so far with something if it was never true. And, I have a lot to repent about that I don't see the depth of yet and a lot more work ahead of me to really clean up what I did there.
Anyway, I'm not sure what is true or not about much of all of this still. And I want to come to face everything. I do know that I have been in a lot of arrogance and self deception about my soul condition and thinking/believing I have done more healing than I have (and that "taking on" the name “Motavenda Melchizedek" highly likely fueled and allowed that to grow over the years). And this had led me to be quite off and unloving with people which I did not really get until recently when Jesus and Mary shed light on this whole area of arrogance and confusion for me.
I think changing my name back to my birthname will help me to come to know and face the real truth about my soul condition, my childhood (and what remains unaddressed there) and will also help me to connect to the little girl I once was who I think got a bit swallowed up by all that metaphysical stuff and is standing back there in that moment 30 years ago still when I severed myself from that past and I left her behind in these pursuits.
Plus, it will be much healthier for me open space up for my true soulmate and to heal my sexuality in this world and have the chance be with a person who is on earth and available (wo, lots to face and feel about there!).
I have immense terror and shame that I am feeling and passing through now...accompanied by a massive spirit attack...and lots of vulnerability and hopelessness and despair....but there is a small sense of a new birth taking place in a way too.
Thanks to Jesus and Mary and to everyone growing in love on this path for being a part of the creation of a place..a space on earth...where I (and everyone) can heal and become a better, more honest and loving soul.
I want to find my way back to God. And I think this is step that will set my compass back on course so I'm a little more confident that I'm heading in the right direction.
Love,
Maureen (Moti)
Re: hello from new mexico, usa
Welcome to the forum, Maureen!
That is great that you got to attend in Texas when they were here! Little did I know that when I was living in Pennsylvania, that they came right there to Philly!! But I wouldn't have known that then as I did not know anything about Divine Truth and was off in a totally different direction.
Thank you for sharing that clip as well. I don't believe that I have seen that one yet and am about to check it out.
Have a great day!
Cari
That is great that you got to attend in Texas when they were here! Little did I know that when I was living in Pennsylvania, that they came right there to Philly!! But I wouldn't have known that then as I did not know anything about Divine Truth and was off in a totally different direction.
Thank you for sharing that clip as well. I don't believe that I have seen that one yet and am about to check it out.
Have a great day!
Cari
My name is Cari.
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Pierrejoseph
- Community Member
- Posts: 81
- Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2015 8:08 am
- Location: New Caledonia
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Re: hello from new mexico, usa
Welcome Maureen,
This is amazing how just your choice to come back to your original name feels to me like bringing a parallel positive change in the flavor of the arrogance you were projecting onto the world and I can feel this is changing now. I could feel that from you before. This is a very humbling choice and certainly a good potential step towards progressively unraveling the heavy facade layers Moti took on during these 30+ years.
It happens that I had personally taken several spiritual names between 2009 and 2011 in an attempt to feel better (more spiritual, superior, special etc) than I actually am, and I introduced myself with one of them (Amael) when I first had an intimate chat with Jesus in 2011 - I even asked then to change my official name (but was refused in my country...fortunate things - and I was pissed off at that time against the people in authority
). Jesus addressed the issue for me as well - and it was also certainly coming from a desire to avoid feeling my childhood painful experiences (how unworthy, unloved, uncared for and terrible as a person I feel inside of me) - and so, I decided to turn straight back the same day to my original name. It was a good choice. I have been able to free myself from many spiritual influences refraining my soul progression, and I became eventually quite aware of the intensity, power and control of this spirits in my life until then because I allowed it to happen through my injuries/denied fears.
Bye bye Moti, Welcome back to Maureen,
Pierre
This is amazing how just your choice to come back to your original name feels to me like bringing a parallel positive change in the flavor of the arrogance you were projecting onto the world and I can feel this is changing now. I could feel that from you before. This is a very humbling choice and certainly a good potential step towards progressively unraveling the heavy facade layers Moti took on during these 30+ years.
It happens that I had personally taken several spiritual names between 2009 and 2011 in an attempt to feel better (more spiritual, superior, special etc) than I actually am, and I introduced myself with one of them (Amael) when I first had an intimate chat with Jesus in 2011 - I even asked then to change my official name (but was refused in my country...fortunate things - and I was pissed off at that time against the people in authority
). Jesus addressed the issue for me as well - and it was also certainly coming from a desire to avoid feeling my childhood painful experiences (how unworthy, unloved, uncared for and terrible as a person I feel inside of me) - and so, I decided to turn straight back the same day to my original name. It was a good choice. I have been able to free myself from many spiritual influences refraining my soul progression, and I became eventually quite aware of the intensity, power and control of this spirits in my life until then because I allowed it to happen through my injuries/denied fears.Bye bye Moti, Welcome back to Maureen,
Pierre
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maureen
- Community Member
- Posts: 121
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:37 am
- Location: New Mexico, USA
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Re: hello from new mexico, usa
Thanks Pierre,
I'm sorry for projecting arrogance toward you. I had I wondered after I had posted a response to you before about sexual addictions if you had felt uncomfortable with what I had said. So, it will be a process for sure to unravel things and become more clear about all of my interactions in life. I have felt unsure pretty much any time I have posted a reply on the forum.
I don't want to be an arrogant person or condescending and I am sorry for projecting that at you and others. I guess it will be a while before I know if that is coming from spirits with me toward others or from me (which I don't feel clear about in many of the situations yet) and what motivates me in the choice to interact overall.
But, I feel too, like you said, that this name change will help for sure to disconnect from spirits involved and influencing a lot of this with me and that alone will help me become more clear with time.
Thanks for your input. And, again sorry if I was arrogant with you. I think I'll just not respond to other people's post for now until I work through more things on my own and I am more clear about what is driving me in posting anything in response to anyone else's posts. It often feels like someone is asking for input, but I must be off in offering my thoughts in these places. So, I have a lot more tuning into do before I can interact in places like this in loving ways I think.
Love,
Moti
I'm sorry for projecting arrogance toward you. I had I wondered after I had posted a response to you before about sexual addictions if you had felt uncomfortable with what I had said. So, it will be a process for sure to unravel things and become more clear about all of my interactions in life. I have felt unsure pretty much any time I have posted a reply on the forum.
I don't want to be an arrogant person or condescending and I am sorry for projecting that at you and others. I guess it will be a while before I know if that is coming from spirits with me toward others or from me (which I don't feel clear about in many of the situations yet) and what motivates me in the choice to interact overall.
But, I feel too, like you said, that this name change will help for sure to disconnect from spirits involved and influencing a lot of this with me and that alone will help me become more clear with time.
Thanks for your input. And, again sorry if I was arrogant with you. I think I'll just not respond to other people's post for now until I work through more things on my own and I am more clear about what is driving me in posting anything in response to anyone else's posts. It often feels like someone is asking for input, but I must be off in offering my thoughts in these places. So, I have a lot more tuning into do before I can interact in places like this in loving ways I think.
Love,
Moti
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maureen
- Community Member
- Posts: 121
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:37 am
- Location: New Mexico, USA
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Re: hello from new mexico, usa
oops...I mean love, "Maureen"
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Pierrejoseph
- Community Member
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Re: hello from new mexico, usa
Hi Maureen,
I have not felt you being particularly arrogant at me. What I was referring to is a feeling of power, arrogance and superiority and being special that you/Moti got from the spirits around you that you attracted because you did not want to feel how you feel in the opposite way (unworthy, powerless etc). Does that would make sense? I feel the very decision to switch back to your original name is an humble and courageous action that demonstrates a desire to become more humble to these childhood memories. It is just a positive step and I could feel your energy changing through your last post, this is what I was referring to. If I can share this with you, it is just because I have felt the same in me.
Interesting how you signed Moti automatically, Moti is the confused one, spirit influenced and in denial and avoidance, Maureen will find out the truth. I have personally found out that the spirits around me did not leave me straight away as I changed my name back to Pierre, it was some time, I mean even more than a year before they completely did leave me and sensitive people around could definitely feel the difference. Actually, Mary told me she noticed it when they left. It is a process, and depending on our resistance to being humble, it goes the pace we chose. It is important though to feel if there are any expectations we have towards us to achieve things quicker, and wanting to be growing in love, and be a good girl/boy (stopping to being arrogant), because they are blocks to our receiving Divine Love too. There must be a pure desire to love and it is only through feeling and releasing our blocks to being humble to our pain that our desire will refine. It definitely takes time.
Cheers my sister,
Pierre
I have not felt you being particularly arrogant at me. What I was referring to is a feeling of power, arrogance and superiority and being special that you/Moti got from the spirits around you that you attracted because you did not want to feel how you feel in the opposite way (unworthy, powerless etc). Does that would make sense? I feel the very decision to switch back to your original name is an humble and courageous action that demonstrates a desire to become more humble to these childhood memories. It is just a positive step and I could feel your energy changing through your last post, this is what I was referring to. If I can share this with you, it is just because I have felt the same in me.
Interesting how you signed Moti automatically, Moti is the confused one, spirit influenced and in denial and avoidance, Maureen will find out the truth. I have personally found out that the spirits around me did not leave me straight away as I changed my name back to Pierre, it was some time, I mean even more than a year before they completely did leave me and sensitive people around could definitely feel the difference. Actually, Mary told me she noticed it when they left. It is a process, and depending on our resistance to being humble, it goes the pace we chose. It is important though to feel if there are any expectations we have towards us to achieve things quicker, and wanting to be growing in love, and be a good girl/boy (stopping to being arrogant), because they are blocks to our receiving Divine Love too. There must be a pure desire to love and it is only through feeling and releasing our blocks to being humble to our pain that our desire will refine. It definitely takes time.
Cheers my sister,
Pierre
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maureen
- Community Member
- Posts: 121
- Joined: Tue Aug 25, 2015 6:37 am
- Location: New Mexico, USA
- Contact:
Re: hello from new mexico, usa
Thanks Pierre...I'm glad I was not unloving to you on the forum.
It will be a journey for sure to become aware of all the things you mention. I live in a small town and my name doesn't have any significance here on a day to to day basis, so its really only been in interactions here and with others on the path that I have started using my new name and begun to open the door and hearing feedback about people's experiences of me (and the spirits involved with this and influencing me and my relationships). I have no real sense of any of yet...because I don't feel the difference between me and these forces/influences yet...more just feelings of having been harnessed and bullied a lot I think by spirits who don't really like me very much but hope to benefit from accessing me and my life somehow. It is hard to relate to feeling superior when I spend most of my time feeling pretty worthless...but I know (intellectually) what you (and others) are saying is true on the deeper levels and I hope that I will understand these things more on the other side of these changes and with time.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I think it will take quite a while for things to untangle for sure for me. Right now it feels like a giant ball of tangled string when it comes to sensing what I am feeling and why (and perhaps what could just be spirits ordering me around-and telling me distorted things about others and their motives, etc.) and what is right and loving action/inaction (according to God) and what isn't and it will take a lot of just being open to having been wrong in a lot ways I thought were right throughout my life and stretching my soul to live for a time where I don't trust my basic movements and being ok with that. I do want to be open more to being loving rather than being right. Even if I don't know how.
And I'll just pray a lot to God to guide me through this change. And I am thankful for your insights and those of others to help along the way.
Love,
Maureen
It will be a journey for sure to become aware of all the things you mention. I live in a small town and my name doesn't have any significance here on a day to to day basis, so its really only been in interactions here and with others on the path that I have started using my new name and begun to open the door and hearing feedback about people's experiences of me (and the spirits involved with this and influencing me and my relationships). I have no real sense of any of yet...because I don't feel the difference between me and these forces/influences yet...more just feelings of having been harnessed and bullied a lot I think by spirits who don't really like me very much but hope to benefit from accessing me and my life somehow. It is hard to relate to feeling superior when I spend most of my time feeling pretty worthless...but I know (intellectually) what you (and others) are saying is true on the deeper levels and I hope that I will understand these things more on the other side of these changes and with time.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I think it will take quite a while for things to untangle for sure for me. Right now it feels like a giant ball of tangled string when it comes to sensing what I am feeling and why (and perhaps what could just be spirits ordering me around-and telling me distorted things about others and their motives, etc.) and what is right and loving action/inaction (according to God) and what isn't and it will take a lot of just being open to having been wrong in a lot ways I thought were right throughout my life and stretching my soul to live for a time where I don't trust my basic movements and being ok with that. I do want to be open more to being loving rather than being right. Even if I don't know how.
And I'll just pray a lot to God to guide me through this change. And I am thankful for your insights and those of others to help along the way.
Love,
Maureen