Hello from Melbourne

[Max]

Hi everyone, my name is Max, I'm 48, married, with a 13 year old son and live in Melbourne Australia. I first came across Jesus and Mary on YouTube about 2 years ago and am very grateful for all they do to show the way. I sometimes think how much more difficult it would have been had they returned even just 100 years ago. Living in Melbourne I have hundreds of hours of their help available for me at my fingertips. It's sooo good to have that sort of access and help.

I was raised in a non practicing catholic family and went to mostly catholic schools. My time in primary school was not pleasant. I was often humiliated in front of the class and made to feel stupid by many teachers. This was due to learning difficulties I had and resulted in entering secondary school not capable of reading or writing (the feeling of being broken, not working properly and being worthless is a common issue for me now). I remember regularly praying to God and knowing despite a lot of the teaching I got at school, that he was a loving God. I remember telling my parents in primary school that I wanted to be a priest and the look of panic on their faces. Despite the teachings I received by the priests and brothers to pray to the saints and Jesus and his mother I only ever prayed to God. Then as a teenager I discovered science and at the age of 15 had a realisation that God didn't exist and became an atheist.

At 18 I started to have an awakening in my heart that God was real and that I wanted to discover the truth about him. At 21 I had a major crisis which took about a year to recover from. To everyone around me at the time, it was a catastrophe, but to me it was a crucial turning point in my life. From that time on I knew God was real and that he was the ultimate reality and the source of what is real, I knew he could speak to me through events (law of attraction). I knew that the spirit world was real and there could be communication between this world and that one. I knew that I loved God and I wanted to learn more about him and the way to do this was through my heart and not my head. I also saw how my fears had stopped me from doing so many things that in my heart I wanted to do. So I faced my fears about learning and went back to school. In my spare time I read everything I could on God and the spirit world. By a lot of fortuitous coincidences I ended up coming across the Padgett messages and then ultimately Jesus and Mary.

Someone asked me a long time ago if I could be in anyone else's body, who would I choose?
I answered that I'd choose to be in the body of someone who was alive at the time of Jesus and close by so that I could meet him. To be totally honest I've had a feeling since my early 20's that Jesus was here and more recently that Mary was too but often doubted my feeling as fanciful because countless people through the ages have had that conviction in their own time and it did not happen. But I kept the desire alive in me and last year it happened for real! Who said miracles don't happen.

Well that's some background on me and I look forward to sharing and growing with you all on this forum that Nicky has so graciously supplied.

With love, your brother

Max

[Nicky]

Hi Max

Welcome to the forums. It is great to speak with you again since the Australian assistance group last year, I enjoyed getting to know you.

How's the Vegan stuff going mate? I know you've been full circle with this area throughout your life so just wondering where you are at with this one!

Cheers

Nicky

[weiwei]

Hello, Max:
Nice to meet you, how great and lucky we have the ability to know that Jesus is Jesus, Mary is Mary. It's such a blessing. What catastrophe have you been through to have this big shift ? Do you mind to describe it ? I was introduced to J&M two yrs ago, too.

[Max]

Hi Nicky,
It's really good to talk to you again as well. I really enjoyed your enthusiasm about Jesus and Mary's teachings and your passion and love for God. It's great to see you following your desires and how it's led you to provide this space for all of us to share and grow. It's a wonderful gift mate, thank you.

I'm not a vegan, I stopped eating meat last year but I do eat eggs and goats cheese. I don't feel totally comfortable with calling myself a vegetarian because I still find the smell of some meat dishes, like bacon and chicken broth appealing. When I think about the fact that it's pig flesh I'm repulsed by it, but I know it tastes good. I don't know how to undo that. When I recognise what it is, I don't desire it, but I also know that it tastes good. I liken it to those stories you' hear about the survivors of a plane crash in some remote frozen location where they decide to eat the remains of the dead passengers in order to survive. When they returned to safety they would never choose to eat it again and be repulsed by the thought of it but if when they ate it they found the taste appealing, how could they undo that?

The reason this still troubles me is because Jesus told me that because I still found the smell and taste of some meat based dishes to be appealing while I was a vegan in the past, I hadn't changed my desire to eat it in my soul and this was why I was able to go back to eating meat. Had I removed that desire in my soul I would not have chosen to eat it again. At least that is what I understood him to have said. I think I need to feel and release some of the emotions and belief systems around eating animals that my parents had when I was a child. Especially my father and grandfather. Maybe then things will change from my soul.

At the start I went through a grieving period because of my belief that I would not be able to make as tasty food as I had when using meat. Then I discovered Yotam Ottolenghi and I recon the dishes I'm creating now are better then anything I've made before. It made me realise just how much I love cooking and eating delicious food.

Thanks again for acting on your desires.

With love, your brother

Max

[Max]

Hi Weiwei

It's good to meet you too. The more I try to experience my life with God the less I see luck as being real and the more I see everything that happens to us as being a result of Gods perfect loving laws. I do however share your excitement and gratitude in being here at this time and being able to meet Jesus and Mary.

In relation to the "catastrophe" that occurred in my youth I don't want to go into too much detail about it but there are some things that you may find helpful. Firstly the people around me at the time considered it a bad thing that happened in my life but I see it as a crisis that resulted in a lot of good things in my life. Basically at a time in my life when on the outside everything was going really really well, on the inside I was feeling more and more empty and unfulfilled. I was desperate for meaning and purpose in my life and I asked God for help. Over a 2 week period of little sleep and opening myself up psychically to spirit communication I had a very large group of pretty nasty spirits pose as friendly spirits wanting to help me. They gained my trust through my addictions and by the end of 2 weeks my mind buckled under the weight of trying to resist the emotional terror and pain that had been uncovered from within me. I received some amazing help from my real guide in my greatest time of need, which helped pull me out of a pretty deep hole I'd fallen into and I'm forever grateful to him for that. It took a long time to become fully functional after this event but I gained a lot of understanding about myself, the spirit world and God and it totally changed the course of my life for the better.

I'd like to contrast that experience with a very similar one that happened to me last year at the assistance group in Queensland. I had several nights of sleep deprivation by a group of pretty nasty spirits who posed as my guides, they gained my trust through my addictions and by the time I realised what was really happening my mind/facade was faced with the crushing weight of my terror and pain. But this time I knew another way. I followed what Jesus and Mary taught us about letting ourselves be overwhelmed by our terror and just feel it. So that night I did what I think was the hardest thing I've ever done, I surrendered to the overwhelming terror that had come up and just shook and cried all night until dawn. (I again had tremendous support from my guide during this time). When the sun came up I was able to return to the world of the living pretty much fully functional. So in my earlier experience where I resisted my terror and pain it took me 12 months to fully recover and this time when I just surrendered to feeling my overwhelming fear it took less then 12 hours to fully recover plus I no longer have the same level of fear from spirit attack and loosing my mind. I don't need any more proof that what Jesus and Mary teach, works.

I hope that was helpful for you

With love
Max

[Pierrejoseph]

Hi Max,

thanks for your intro that inspires me about your love for God.

you wrote :

I surrendered to the overwhelming terror that had come up and just shook and cried all night until dawn.

Would you mind sharing a bit more how did you manage to surrender to your terror a stay in it such a long period of time and trust the entire process that you would eventually go though the other side and come out of it sane and healthy?

I find it so so scary and never allows myself to go to the eye of the storm and surrender to terror or even anger (beside experiencing in the past spirit anger which lead me nowhere). Grief is much easier because I don't judge it so much. I have actually hardly no faith at all about emotional processing of terror and rage (even real child's anger). I sometimes feel fear or shame together with grief, but I keep in control switching the process out when it becomes too out of control, staying selective about what is OK to feel and what is not. I am actually completely going over anger and terror most of the time so that no massive change happens and my connection to God and myself is very limited. I don't know many people who have gone in terror, so you insight is certainly precious for me and hopefully many others here stuck in the same vicious circle.

Pierre

[Max]

Hi Pierre

I've posted a very long (my apologies) reply to your request under the Eureka! Heading, listed as Processing fear. I think it would be more appropriate under that heading.

Cheers

Max

[Anna S]

If you are looking for Max's reply to Pierre, "Processing Fear ", you will find it under The Human Soul/ Fear & Terror
With love
Anna