Divine Truth Hub Forum Board (NOW CLOSED)

Hi guys!

My name is Arvarna. If you have watched the earlier DVD's of the seminars in Buderim, you would have probably seen me on there as I used to ask lots of questions!

I grew up in a family that, back then, I would have considered spiritual. My parents would talk about spirits, 'angels' (probably really spirit guides) and other things about the universe. I didn't grow up in a religious family at all so I never learnt about God. But I do remember that when I was in primary school I decided to join a religious class. One of my friends families was religious and I wanted to learn about it.

So I have never really been taught about God and am finding that I am still quite blocked to God. And lately I have been having little moments where I realise (intellectually) 'Oh! I can have a relationship with God, the Creator'! Might sound silly, since everything AJ and Mary talk about in their seminars are about having a relationship with God! lol

I grew up Maleny which is the Sunny Coast Hinterland, QLD, Australia. In 2007 when I was 19 I was quite depressed and was searching for something to help me. I was living in a share house at the time, in Maroochydore, and found an ad in the paper about Peter Heibloem's Alpha seminar. I decided to do it and also went along and did the 8 week workshop following the seminar. It was there that I met Micheal Newman and we became friends. I also met Justin as he was running the 8 week workshop.

It was through Peter Heibloem that I found out about AJ and that he was doing seminars at Peter's place. I went along to one of the first seminars at Peter's place and was fine until AJ said that he was Jesus! I felt really angry and wanted to leave but didn't because I thought that would be rude. I didn't go back until about 1.5 years later after some traumatic things had happened in my life and Micheal had been suggesting that I go along to the seminars and that they were really good. Justin and I met again at the seminars in Eudlo, he was married at the time to Jodi.

I was desperately trying to find my soulmate in 2009/2010 and was focussing on dealing with my sadness and anger to do with my Dad. I had alway liked listening to what Justin had to say on the mic at the seminars, although he didn't ever really say much compared to me haha! Justin and Jodi's marriage broke down at the end of 2009. Justin felt they were growing apart, rather than coming closer together, as a result of working through their emotions. Justin ended the marriage. In early 2010 a group of people including Justin and I were on a yahoo forum about The Divine Love Path. I always liked what he had to say on the forum. He had been going through a rough time with emotions that were coming up. He ended up making a post on the forum one day after he got through the rough patch, he was really happy and wanted to say that he 'loved everyone!' or something along those lines. I decided to email him.

It was after that that there was talk about us being soulmates. We were talking for a few months and then we started a relationship in August 2010. Jodi and Dave moved out to live with AJ and Mary. Justin decided to move out to the South Burnett too, as Justin and Jodi had two young boys at the time and didn't want to be a few hours drive from them. I freaked out that Justin was moving away and asked if I could move with him. We have been living out here for 5 years now and have been together, on and off for the last 5 years.

I could say a whole lot more and have left out a lot of stuff, but that might do for now

Looking forward to talking to you guys about your experiences and about connecting to God!

Arvarna

Hello again Arvarna

Enjoyed reading your intro! Was great to meet you and Justin at the assistance group.

Welcome to the forums here.

Nicky

Thanks Nicky. I think I only introduced myself on the last night of the Assistance Group. I was in a pretty resistive state back then, it would have been better if I was less resistive. I liked how enthusiastic you and Peter were!

Hi guys,

After reading a number of other introduction posts I felt I should be more honest and open about myself.
I’ve been pretty angry for the past 5 years and in particular the most angry since the beginning of last year. I feel I have actually degraded in this time. I have not been taking responsibility for my emotions, or my life in general. I blame other people for how I feel, and in particular blame Justin.

I have chosen to do a lot of unloving things, knowing they are unloving but still doing them anyway. I have created a huge amount of physical pain in my body and am addicted to trying to ‘fix’ that pain by involving other people in it and trying various things to get rid of it.

A few months back I realised that engaging in a lot of addictions with my family and other things (facebook/viber app/watching tv etc) wasn’t helping me get anywhere and wasn’t helpful for me at all. I felt I needed to stop engaging with the addictions. I haven’t dealt with the actual emotional part of the addictions but I have felt better since I stopped engaging in them. And since then I have been focusing more on a few different projects I am working on at home, which is exciting

I love art and music and more recently have remembered that I have a love for creating websites/animations/editing images and other things on the computer. I used to do this at school but completely forgot about it. I feel I have a huge amount of addictions surrounding these things though and am starting to feel that it would be good to actually work through the addictions so I can actually give these things as gifts and not have all these expectations and demands on others relating to what I am interested in.

I have been experimenting with holding some kids drawing classes at a studio in a nearby town. I run these classes by donation and I find it interesting looking at what I attract with the children that come along. Running these classes has highlighted how my emotions affect the kids that come along and how I need to develop a willingness to grow in love and work through my emotions so it is more enjoyable for the kids, and also a more loving environment for them.
I have been pretty resistive and ‘sit’ in my resistance and anger a lot. Although I have been experimenting lately with physically expressing my anger, which does make me feel better afterwards… I just haven’t learnt yet that it’s best to get it out straight away! Bit of a slow learner

I do hope to grow and change, but while I am still so resistive to feeling my emotions it’s going to be a pretty slow process!

Lately I have been really inspired by others that I feel are in a more loving condition than I am, who are growing in love and who are acting in their passion for Divine Truth.
I wanted to thank Nicky again for creating this forum and keeping it a loving place. I also want to thank AJ and Mary for their input, and also to those who have been posting. I have found it really beneficial and the feedback that has been given has really highlighted to me that I need to be a whole lot more serious about my addictions etc if I do really want to grow in love and develop a relationship with God.

Arvarna

Hi Thanks for being so honest and real about your challenges ! I know what you mean about feeling the anger but putting it off and postponing it...
The main thing is recognizing it. This is actually a huge step in itself, so please realize how much progress is actually underway for you.
Also, I find this incredibly powerful for me: for a long time I was hard on myself because I knew I could be doing better, but this self judgement only hindered me ! Ha-ha..I would almost luxuriate in chastising myself, and I realized it was a way of avoiding my own improvement !
So I have had to start seeing my emotions in kind of a dispassionate way just to stop judging myself harshly.
It was weird at first, but not judging myself has gotten easier with conscious practice. It makes me see things more clearly. Mike

Hello,I am newbie,too.Glad to meet all of you

Welcome Arvana.

I wanted to say that I loved the second part of your introduction and how honest you where.

Alejandro.