2 Amber Strikes - Julie Bennion
Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2015 2:21 pm
Hi
I am issuing Julie with 2 AMBER STRIKES as she has been in breach of the following terms of use:
1. Posting comments with feelings of demand or expectation attached to them
2. Any co-dependent, emotional bartering based exchange with other visitors with the purpose of getting your own addictions met
When Julie initially introduced herself on the forum, she gave out her personal telephone number publicly. I modified her post to remove her number and emailed her directly to inform her of this and the reasons why I felt this was the most appropriate course of action and she acknowledged this in her response back to me.
At the same time, I edited the sticky topic of mine in the "Introduce Yourself" forum category to state that any personal details (phone numbers, email addresses etc) should not be shared publicly however people are free to do so privately via the forum private messaging system if they so wished. As this rule was not specifically written on the forum at the time, I did not take any disciplinary action against Julie as I felt this would have been harsh.
The main reasons behind this is that if I allow/promote personal meet ups or communications between people publicly, it would expose me to a number of lawful considerations and requirements that I'd have to adhere to which would make things pretty tricky from an admin perspective. Everyone is to take their own full responsibility for giving out their personal contact information/arranging to meet up and as I said, this is to be done privately.
Secondly, this forum is completely public and all of your posts are visible to complete strangers who are classed as "guests" on the forum. By posting your personal contact details publicly, you are opening yourself up to all kinds of possibilities from non-forum members. As an example, this could include people or scripting bots adding your telephone number and/or email address to certain databases, spam email lists amongst other things and is just in general, bad news all round.
Exactly a week following Julie's initial post where she gave out her telephone number, I saw in Graham Sutherland's intro post that she gave out her email address publicly. Again, I edited her post to remove her email address and emailed her directly informing her of this alteration whilst also giving her some personal feedback as to why she had overlooked and actually disregarded my initial email to her a week earlier due to certain addictions that she was engaging in.
You can read Julie's post to Graham by following the below link:
viewtopic.php?f=8&t=260
It can be seen that Graham did state he was open to the possibility of sharing a number of his spare bedrooms with people in the future. Julie responded to the potentiality of this, and in her excitement as well as addiction, she shared her email address and disregarded the initial private and direct feedback I gave her about this.
Julie has recently made a post in the below thread (can be found on page 2 of the thread in question):
viewtopic.php?f=25&t=402&start=10
She wrote:
Julie could have easily sent me a quick email or forum private message simply asking the question she wrote at the end of her post, but instead, she chose to act unlovingly and go off-topic by divulging her current feelings and thoughts about the upcoming assistance groups on this thread and then dropping in her question to me at the end as a way of almost validating to herself her actions. It feels as though she is almost forcing herself onto others in an unethical manner, both directly (towards Graham) and indirectly (in this thread).
I feel there is a lot of facade at play in this post, particularly the part I have highlighted in bold above. It is partly driven by a number of Julie's addictions/demands at wanting somebody to "look after her" amongst other things, and, really there's a selfish motivation in these posts which has caused her to take unloving behaviour towards myself (by disregarding forum rules) and now, other forum members. This latest post also shows that the feedback I gave her privately a few weeks ago has not touched her soul as of yet and she has continued to act in the same pattern of addiction, which I cannot allow to take place on the forum any longer without taking disciplinary action.
Thanks.
Nicky
I am issuing Julie with 2 AMBER STRIKES as she has been in breach of the following terms of use:
1. Posting comments with feelings of demand or expectation attached to them
2. Any co-dependent, emotional bartering based exchange with other visitors with the purpose of getting your own addictions met
When Julie initially introduced herself on the forum, she gave out her personal telephone number publicly. I modified her post to remove her number and emailed her directly to inform her of this and the reasons why I felt this was the most appropriate course of action and she acknowledged this in her response back to me.
At the same time, I edited the sticky topic of mine in the "Introduce Yourself" forum category to state that any personal details (phone numbers, email addresses etc) should not be shared publicly however people are free to do so privately via the forum private messaging system if they so wished. As this rule was not specifically written on the forum at the time, I did not take any disciplinary action against Julie as I felt this would have been harsh.
The main reasons behind this is that if I allow/promote personal meet ups or communications between people publicly, it would expose me to a number of lawful considerations and requirements that I'd have to adhere to which would make things pretty tricky from an admin perspective. Everyone is to take their own full responsibility for giving out their personal contact information/arranging to meet up and as I said, this is to be done privately.
Secondly, this forum is completely public and all of your posts are visible to complete strangers who are classed as "guests" on the forum. By posting your personal contact details publicly, you are opening yourself up to all kinds of possibilities from non-forum members. As an example, this could include people or scripting bots adding your telephone number and/or email address to certain databases, spam email lists amongst other things and is just in general, bad news all round.
Exactly a week following Julie's initial post where she gave out her telephone number, I saw in Graham Sutherland's intro post that she gave out her email address publicly. Again, I edited her post to remove her email address and emailed her directly informing her of this alteration whilst also giving her some personal feedback as to why she had overlooked and actually disregarded my initial email to her a week earlier due to certain addictions that she was engaging in.
You can read Julie's post to Graham by following the below link:
viewtopic.php?f=8&t=260
It can be seen that Graham did state he was open to the possibility of sharing a number of his spare bedrooms with people in the future. Julie responded to the potentiality of this, and in her excitement as well as addiction, she shared her email address and disregarded the initial private and direct feedback I gave her about this.
Julie has recently made a post in the below thread (can be found on page 2 of the thread in question):
viewtopic.php?f=25&t=402&start=10
She wrote:
Julie posted the above on a thread that was completely unrelated to the content of the thread itself and I felt this was unloving to Arvarna who created the thread and also to all other forum members and guests who go into that thread for the purpose of reading more about that specific topic.On another note, I've been looking into different options, with Rita's generous assistance, for getting myself to Aus for the Love Course sessions; Looking at maps (it's a big country, a whole continent!); Where to stay; How to move about once I'm there (on a bike, buses, trains if they exists down under?, would be ideal). One idea that came, was to rent a place for the duration and open it up for others who are traveling from overseas to come and stay (in the extra bedroom, on the couch or on the floor, wherever there's room to lay down, in a bag)
Then, somewhere in the wee hours a couple nights ago, it occurred to me, maybe J&M need a housesitter!
I thought to share this here, by way of tossing my addiction to not engaging, for a loop! & see where (and how) it lands.
Nicky, what do you think about starting a new topic, "Traveling to Aus for the Love Course", for this, and other, communications?
Julie could have easily sent me a quick email or forum private message simply asking the question she wrote at the end of her post, but instead, she chose to act unlovingly and go off-topic by divulging her current feelings and thoughts about the upcoming assistance groups on this thread and then dropping in her question to me at the end as a way of almost validating to herself her actions. It feels as though she is almost forcing herself onto others in an unethical manner, both directly (towards Graham) and indirectly (in this thread).
I feel there is a lot of facade at play in this post, particularly the part I have highlighted in bold above. It is partly driven by a number of Julie's addictions/demands at wanting somebody to "look after her" amongst other things, and, really there's a selfish motivation in these posts which has caused her to take unloving behaviour towards myself (by disregarding forum rules) and now, other forum members. This latest post also shows that the feedback I gave her privately a few weeks ago has not touched her soul as of yet and she has continued to act in the same pattern of addiction, which I cannot allow to take place on the forum any longer without taking disciplinary action.
Thanks.
Nicky