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By donation or not?

We have run a vegan food van for 6 months.

It was initially by donation, and this felt good. I looked spiritual when inside I was far from it. I also had demands that people donated to expenses, so decided to charge cost price (price to produce the food) plus a donation box for our time if they wished - i thought to be more honest. Really, I still had demands that people give more and felt there wasn't enough, other times afraid we weren't going to pay rent for the week, or wanting people to contribute to validate my worth projecting "I am worth more than that!"

We've taken a few weeks off and will continue in some way, but I am confused about the loving way. I saw Nicky's post about donations and felt completely opposite - he's happy to give a gift without expectation of return, making it available to all. Happy to share maybe because of the love he has been given? (Nicky, if you read this and care to share, I'd love to hear.) Same with Jesus and Mary. They give freely without expectation for anything in return, especially financially. I'm not sure, what growth in the soul enables us to give freely without demands? Love?

And honestly, I feel one million miles from this.

So then is it more loving to just be straight out honest and charge the fair price ? But that feels like I am giving in to the barter addiction and not challenging it. But the first two ways weren't loving either as I was still injuring others but also charging a price seems wrong too, like i am giving up.

So I guess the question is, do you act knowing that either way is unloving, but which is less unloving, given my present soul condition? I want to work on this issue but it is time to act as well, and I am far from loving on this.

I would appreciate any answers anyone may have around this, experiences, suggestions on what love would do??

Thanks in advance,
Monique

Hi Mon,

The only 'right' action from God's perspective is to deal with the lack of love in your motivations. That is, to deal with the emotional injuries that create your unloving projections.

Without doing that any action you take will still be unloving. It is like there are no more loving or less loving options... there is only loving and unloving.

Jesus talked about this at the second assistance group (not sure in which clip that would be - does anyone else know which one?)

It doesn't really matter which action you take, until you are willing to feel your sin as sin and desire to release it, you will still be damaging your environment.

I hope that helps.

It can feel difficult to face - but - sin in my soul = sin in my soul. There is no way to mitigate it really.

Cheers,
Mary

p.s. Not acting, e.g. not running the van at all because you can't decide on which way to take, still doesn't mitigate the sin in your soul either.

Jesus often tells me that there is no third option - you either deal with your issues (option 1) or you don't (option 2).

Option 1 is the loving way and option 2 is not.

And eventually I want to be in the place where the second option (not dealing) isn't even a consideration either. That is, that I will only ever feel that there is one option - to deal with my sin in all circumstances.

M

This may be the video where the concept of performing loving actions automatically versus intellectually.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izCs_zH ... BW&index=6