Divine Truth Hub Forum Board (NOW CLOSED)

Hi! My name is Inger I am 57, and I live in a small town, Simrishamn, on the south coast in Sweden. The first time I met Divine Truth was about 1,5 years ago and something happened deep inside of me, almost at once when I began to listen. Since then it has been like an emotional rollercoaster and it feels like I have begun to search for the real myself for the first time. Being kind of lonely as a child and never really having anyone to talk to during my childhood and as a teenager when I was bullied in school from age 11-15, I guess I got a very deep sadness early in life.

But I don´t think I realized, or did not want to understand and feel, how much it did hurt me and how much it has affected the rest of my life and the life-choices I have made. Fear has always been a big issue for me, but I have often found ways to avoid the fear, control it, and make my life “safe”. I´m beginning to understand how much my fear is controlling my life (or how much I am choosing to let it control my life, I guess).
Maybe the sadness and a deep feeling of the world being a dangerous and threatening place, made me look for some kind of a meaning in life and search for God. During the last maybe ten years I have had moments when I have been emotionally very overwhelmed by feelings of a loving presence and I´v been crying and crying and sometimes it has felt like I am almost dissolving and it is painful at the same time – it´s almost as the difference between the love and myself is so big, and it feels so painful. Sometime it feels like, yes maybe this is Gods love, because I feel softer and more, kind of, vulnerable, and sometime it feels like no, maybe it´s just my own pain. Often I´m not sure.

Writing this for the forum does trigger some of my fears. A lot of them. The last 30 years I have been working as a minister I the lutheran church in Sweden, and engaging in Divine Truth triggers fear of losing my job, losing my income, and my house, fear of being criticized, fear of being regarded as crazy and easily manipulated, fear of getting a lot of problems and so on. To work in church and say: I think Jesus is back and he lives in Australia., is more than controversial… and I feel my fear quite strong as I write this. At the same time as I can feel I have a lot of fear, I am not really experiencing it. It is more like it is bubbling under the surface and I feel my resistance, and fear of my fear is so big.
From time to time I feel almost attacked with doubts: “it´s all fake and manipulations, it´s too good to be true, how do I know he really is Jesus”, and so on. Sometime it has been tough and I have felt lonely and unsure and sometimes numb. After a while the doubts and fear ceases and I am kind of back on track again.

Still, I have never in my life had such a strong resonance I my heart and soul, as I had when I began to listen to Jesus and Mary. It was so, and has been many times, overwhelming and it feels like the most loving, and true, teachings I have ever met.
Thanks a lot, Nicky, for the opportunity to write on the forum, and thanks to everyone who is sharing their life here. Love / Inger

Hej Inger! Nice to see you here on the forum! Roligt att du vill skriva här, vi hörs igen

Hi Inger!
Lovely to meet you here on this forum too!
I can recognize myself in your uncertainty about if it is God's Love you have received. I also feel unsure. And I can understand your concern about being transparent with your interest in Divine Truth teachings, and the courage it takes!
With love
Anna S

Hi Inger

Welcome to the forum. What a way to trigger your fears hey? Jesus is back on Earth and in Australia. I'm sure many people on the forum have and/or experienced the same fears, myself included.

Anyway, nice to meet you and I hope you find the forum a beneficial tool in your development.

Nicky

Welcome Inger! This is awesome that Ministers such as yourself are coming to find this information and not disregard it! I can't imagine how confrontational his teachings to someone in your shoes must be with the indoctrination of such religious upbringings and teachings that you already have; Then again I was an atheist for 23/25 years of my life coming into this knowledge and awareness that there is a God that I can connect with - so I can relate to the mind blowing magnitude of experiencing such perceptual expansion! It's a bit overwhelming to say the least lol. But the more I listen, the more clarity I receive, which removes a lot of my F.E.A.R.s and makes the quality of life much more enjoyable. The resonance is just unreal isn't it?! I haven't been able to disagree with or deny anything he's said so far, it just makes me cry a lot and realize how ignorant and falsely indoctrinated I was in this crazy society. Also I've never heard him contradict himself in any of the material. I feel so blessed and grateful to be given the opportunity to listen to these teachings!

Thanks for being here and sharing, stay strong and open minded! Namaste!

Hi

I have moved my response to Dom about anger with society and blame, to the new location, where it can have its own thread for discussion.
viewtopic.php?f=57&t=827

cheers,

Lena

Hej Inger!

Welcome to the forum. I just found this place myself. And I can relate to a lot about what you mention from your childhood and life about bullying, loneliness, and how fear controls your life decisions. It is amazing what we do to avoid being afraid. Great that you faced your fear and said hello. Nice to meet you!
/Joakim

Hi Inger

I definitely understand this fear of ridicule, naivety and being duped or manipulated. In the UK we have a guy called Derren Brown who is an entertainer and illusionist but is also an atheist. I would say more than an atheist he is acting to disprove God's existence and uncover what he feels are scams run by religions and new age groups. One event he staged that has stuck in my mind was the conversion of an atheist woman using NLP techniques and emotional manipulation. I have been feeling I need to watch it again myself. The programme was called Fear & Faith Part 2. I found a link here but haven't yet watched it through if you wanted to investigate for yourself. I feel that facing up to that fear of ridicule will help me discern God and have more faith about my own experiences.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x15mia ... shortfilms

Amanda

Hello!
Thank you so much Nicky for welcoming me! And nice to see you too, Anna and Eva , and Joakim från Stockholm!

And hello Dom - thanks for your reply. Fact is, when I began to listen to Jesus and Marys teachings it was hardly confronting at all, quite the opposite, it just fell in to place and felt true and loving and made sense to me. Over the years I´v felt much much more confronted by many of the teachings and doctrines in church. But the church were I work is quite openminded (comparatively) and maybe that is why I have remained in church. But I don´t think it is openminded enough to accept Divine truth . I think a process already had started in me years before I met Divine Truth and a lot of the teaching just feels familiar, almost as if I´v heard it before. Sometime I wonder if I might have done so in my sleepstate? I don´t know for sure, but sometime i wonder. Hope you can understand my swenglish I don´t write in English very often, but this give my an opportunity to practice!

Love / Inger

Hi Amanda! And thanks so much for the link! I will watch it / Inger